We’re Scared of Whatever Taylor Swift is Plotting

Imagine your friend wiped her social media accounts clean. She deleted her tweets, deleted her Instagram pics, deleted her profile pictures, and unfollowed everyone. Then, she started posting videos of snakes. You’d be pretty concerned, wouldn’t you?

That’s pretty much how we’re feeling about Taylor Swift right now.

Until her recent sexual assault trial, Taylor has been pretty MIA: she’s been silent on social media, absent from the tabloids, and staying out of the spotlight with her new relationship. When she skipped her annual Fourth of July party, we started to question if Swift’s #SquadGoals was a thing of the past. Oh, and then everyone thought she was sneaking in and out of her apartment in a giant box. So ya, things have been weird.

And then things got weirder—because, you know, this whole snake thing. What’s the deal Tay? What have you been plotting while you’ve been hiding in the dark? Here’s everything we know:

Just before Taylor went quiet, the world started to drag her squeaky-clean rep through the dirt. She had a messy break-up with Calvin Harris, a quickly escalating (and very weird) relationship to Tom Hiddleston—and then Kim Kardashian leaked *that phone conversation* revealing Taylor as a liar. The pop princess’ well-painted image was destroyed, and the Internet made her name synonymous with the snake emoji. Because, you know, she’s a cunning and deceitful reptile who’s only ~*pretending*~ to be the perfect “girl next door.”

Then there’s her feud with Katy Perry. Just in case you thought that was over...check this out.

Seem familiar? If the teaser tells us anything about what’s to come (which is typically what teasers do), the music video for Perry’s diss track “Swish Swish” is sorta in the same vein as Swift’s diss track, “Bad Blood.” Except instead of it being Taylor’s squad of supermodels and actresses battling in a sci-fi setting, it’s Katy’s basketball team of famous people playing against another basket ball team of famous people. It’s practically the same (!!!), says the Internet.

If that sounds unconvincing, riddle me this: Katy’s tweet for the teaser says “Countdown to Catastrophe”, which FYI is Taylor’s character name in the “Bad Blood” video. That seems a little too coincidental if you ask us.

Taylor has bad blood with a lot of people, including those (*cough* me) who have questioned her morals in the past. Will she drop an unforgiving diss track? Will she pull a Beyonce and surprise us with an over-the-top visual record? Will she show up at Sunday’s VMAs and push her enemies off the stage?

Whatever it is, Swift is plotting something serious. Stay tuned for the Internet shattering drama that’s sure to follow.