Project Runway All Stars recap: We chart our feelings throughout the best and worst moments from the premiere
In the New Testament world of Project Runway All Stars, losers from seasons past are being judged anew. Eleven of the contestants will be deemed unworthy for a second time*, and one will claw his or her way to redemption—and a brand new technology suite from HP! Is it worth it? I can’t tell. Now, into the tense and cosseted world of Project Runway All Stars!
*Technically, Anthony has already lost twice, bless his heart.
We chart our feelings throughout the entire first episode »
We begin! Amongst others, there’s Mondo in his short shorts and Michael in his fedora; there’s humourless Mila, and charming Anthony (who’s already using the rhetorical “honey”). But what we’ve really been waiting for: Austin Scarlett, with a garment bag streaming behind him. What poise, what grace, what incomparable foppishness! Austin is Eustace Tilley in Errol Flynn drag; a thing many several aspire to, and few achieve. Happiness +8
After all that meandering, we find ourselves at the Limelight Marketplace in Chelsea, which seems nice—and by nice I mean that the Limelight used to be a den of sin. And before that, an Episcopal church. What does it mean? Misery -5
But there’s a new host: supermodel Angela Lindvall. All the contestants are totally wowed by her—you can tell by their crazy eyes.
As the hosts run through the big prize, I wonder: is there really an ultimate prize in fashion other than being born Karl Anderson Jr. a.k.a Michael Kors? God, I miss Michael Kors. Misery/Happiness: Wash
New judges Georgina Chapman and Isaac Mizrahi seem babely and cautious, respectively. The mini-show goes off smoothly (and snoozily). I am so used to the dripping sarcasm of Klum, Kors, and Garcia that I have no idea how the judges are communicating without it. I don’t know what I feel. :\
Angela sends the All Stars off to their hotel where they converge around the wide-screen to receive some video luck from Valentino Garavani himself! His tanned and godly presence puts the entire group into “I am not worthy” tears, which is slightly scary. Sense of Alarm -8
We can’t spend all our time hangin’ in the terribly named Flatotel, can we? The group is presented with the loathed/loved unconventional challenge, which has been taken to the next level. The designers have to put together a look from the 99¢ store. While they use their 20 precious minutes to load up on garbage, it occurs to me that Angela hasn’t blinked once. Did she take on-camera technique with Sir Michael Caine? Impressed +3
And then, just like that, we’re in the workroom, joshing around to the funky theme that usually precedes Tim Gunn. There’s a serious lack of drama in the workroom other than April and Michael making the same dress, which Jerrell (oh hey Jerrell!) seems more concerned about than either of them combined. Entering with a burst of crimson is Marie Claire’s EIC, Joanna Coles, looking very Tilda Swinton-ish. Coles doesn’t have the furrowed gravitas of Tim Gunn, but I like how cool and inscrutable she is. Longing for Gunn -10
The L’Oréal Paris Makeup room! Kenley wants her model to look “Young babydoll fresh.” Kind of like Toddlers in Tiaras meets Audrey Hepburn. Happiness +7
To the runway! Mondo’s outfit is so cute: the glasses, the bow tie, the boater. His little black binder dress is pretty fantastic, and Jerrell’s 99¢ dress is somehow less dumb than his original. The words that come to mind about Elisa’s look? Gay Batman. And while Rami’s dress is the professed winner, the real prize goes to Mondo’s gangling jog off stage. Did you guys miss it as much as I did? Elisa’s out, but everyone seemed sort of resigned to that at the outset. Elisa, shouldering her big ol’ backpack of sacred geometry supplies, is probably recanting blessings inside her head. I’m sure she’ll find a table to set up shop under real soon. Happiness (c/o Jog) +5
Emotionally, I came out on top here with a +3. But there are lingering questions to pursue over the coming weeks: will Kara Janx stay true to her word and kill someone for that guest editorship, and if so, will it happen at the Limelight?
And that’s it folks, until next week! Stay tuned for our recap of Episode 2 next Tuesday January 17! Catch new episodes of Project Runway All Stars Monday nights at 10 p.m on Slice.
. But what we’ve really been waiting for: Austin Scarlett, with a garment bag streaming behind him. What poise, what grace, what incomparable foppishness! Austin is Eustace Tilley in Errol Flynn drag; a thing many several aspire to, and few achieve. Happiness +8
After all that meandering, we find ourselves at the Limelight Marketplace in Chelsea, which seems nice—and by nice I mean that the Limelight used to be a den of sin. And before that, an Episcopal church. What does it mean? Misery -5
But there’s a new host: supermodel Angela Lindvall. All the contestants are totally wowed by her—you can tell by their crazy eyes.
As the hosts run through the big prize, I wonder: is there really an ultimate prize in fashion other than being born Karl Anderson Jr. a.k.a Michael Kors? God, I miss Michael Kors. Misery/Happiness: Wash
New judges Georgina Chapman and Isaac Mizrahi seem babely and cautious, respectively. The mini-show goes off smoothly (and snoozily). I am so used to the dripping sarcasm of Klum, Kors, and Garcia that I have no idea how the judges are communicating without it. I don’t know what I feel. :\
Angela sends the All Stars off to their hotel where they converge around the wide-screen to receive some video luck from Valentino Garavani himself! His tanned and godly presence puts the entire group into “I am not worthy” tears, which is slightly scary. Sense of Alarm -8
We can’t spend all our time hangin’ in the terribly named Flatotel, can we? The group is presented with the loathed/loved unconventional challenge, which has been taken to the next level. The designers have to put together a look from the 99¢ store. While they use their 20 precious minutes to load up on garbage, it occurs to me that Angela hasn’t blinked once. Did she take on-camera technique with Sir Michael Caine? Impressed +3
And then, just like that, we’re in the workroom, joshing around to the funky theme that usually precedes Tim Gunn. There’s a serious lack of drama in the workroom other than April and Michael making the same dress, which Jerrell (oh hey Jerrell!) seems more concerned about than either of them combined. Entering with a burst of crimson is Marie Claire’s EIC, Joanna Coles, looking very Tilda Swinton-ish. Coles doesn’t have the furrowed gravitas of Tim Gunn, but I like how cool and inscrutable she is. Longing for Gunn -10
The L’Oréal Paris Makeup room! Kenley wants her model to look “Young babydoll fresh.” Kind of like Toddlers in Tiaras meets Audrey Hepburn. Happiness +7
[caption id="attachment_71856" align="aligncenter" width="600" caption="Left: Rami\'s winning design. Right: Elisa\'s losing design"][/caption]
To the runway! Mondo’s outfit is so cute: the glasses, the bow tie, the boater. His little black binder dress is pretty fantastic, and Jerrell’s 99¢ dress is somehow less dumb than his original. The words that come to mind about Elisa’s look? Gay Batman. And while Rami’s dress is the professed winner, the real prize goes to Mondo’s gangling jog off stage. Did you guys miss it as much as I did? Elisa’s out, but everyone seemed sort of resigned to that at the outset. Elisa, shouldering her big ol’ backpack of sacred geometry supplies, is probably recanting blessings inside her head. I’m sure she’ll find a table to set up shop under real soon. Happiness (c/o Jog) +5
Emotionally, I came out on top here with a +3. But there are lingering questions to pursue over the coming weeks: will Kara Janx stay true to her word and kill someone for that guest editorship, and if so, will it happen at the Limelight?
And that’s it folks, until next week! Stay tuned for our recap of Episode 2 next Tuesday January 17! Catch new episodes of Project Runway All Stars Monday nights at 10 p.m on Slice.
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