Starbucks’ New Crystal Ball Frappuccino Predicts Your Future — Sort Of

We see an Instagram post in your future.

Starbucks knows how to create social media magic. When unicorns made a pop culture comeback, Starbucks introduced the Unicorn Frappuccino. To satisfy the pale pink obsession of the Instagram generation, they added the Blossoming Rose Tea Latte to their menu. And anytime there’s a novelty holiday, you can bet Starbucks has a new beverage recipe ready to force into the brains of baristas — for a limited time only, of course.

With their newest innovation, the coffee conglomerate attempts to capitalize on the spirituality of millennials. It might seem like a reach: how does one take the trendy mindfulness of crystals, chakras, aura readings and astrology, and put it into a coffee cup? Well, if you can seek wisdom and healing from a small rock and some tarot cards, then you can surely find peace in a cold caffeinated beverage.

Meet the Crystal Ball Frappuccino. The drink, which is available across Canada for the next four days, is a crème-based Frappuccino infused with peach flavour and marbled with turquoise sparkles. It’s topped with peach-flavoured whipped cream, and finished off with three different colours of candies — blue, purple, and green — each promising to predict a different future. (They’re essentially pop rocks with cosmic powers.)

I tried it this morning, and it wasn’t nearly as gross  sweet as I expected it to be. Regardless of your fortune, I can foresee you enjoying this tasty, social media-friendly snack. And if you’re eager to get some insight into the future, here are the three candy-coloured fates you can expect.

Photography courtesy of Starbucks

Purple 

Purple candies predict magic in your future, says Starbucks. More specifically: “Wonder and enchantment are headed your way. Also owls.” Essentially, you can expect your Hogwarts letter any day now. Later Muggles!

Photography courtesy of Starbucks

Green

The green candy foretells a lucky future: “Wherever you go, good fortune will follow.*” (Starbucks then adds at the bottom of their press release, “*Starbucks does not assume liability for any luck or lack of luck that you experience, but we really do hope you have a fantastic day.)

Photography courtesy of Starbucks

Blue 

According to Starbucks, the blue-coloured candy means that adventure is coming your way. “Better pack a snack today,” they advise. “Maybe an umbrella.” This could mean you’re going on a fun hike… or you missed your bus and have to walk home in the rain.