A definitive ranking of the most hideous dresses in Bachelor history

By Nicole Livey

Date January 4, 2016

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It’s the first Monday of the new year, which, after weeks of gluttonous parties and holidays that mandate copious amounts of champagne, sounds about as scintillating as reorganizing your sock drawer. Playtime is officially over, and with some six weeks of uninterrupted Monday-Friday grinds ahead of us, painstakingly measured out in days that settle into darkness around 5pm, throwing in the towel and escaping to a remote island off the coast of South America sounds like a pretty appealing option. Right?

Wrong.

Because then you would have limited access to a TV, and, in case you are completely oblivious, a new season of The Bachelor begins tonight, so consider Mondays your new favourite day of the week.

If for some incomprehensible reason you haven’t had this date marked on your calendar since Kaitlyn Bristowe said yes to her muscle man Shawn last July, I assume that you must self-identify as a non-fan of The Bachelor franchise. I am here to tell you that this is an egregious offense to your quality of life. The Bachelor is a marvel of modern day network television–the cast’s crazy quotient is off-the-charts, locales are sponsored by tourism boards and are therefore spectacular (unless they visit, uhhh, Deadwood, South Dakota), and the dresses? Plucked straight from a 2000s suburban prom for your judging pleasure. Now if that doesn’t sound like an ideal Monday evening, I don’t know what does.

In preparation for tonight’s momentous premiere, we’ve gathered up some of the most glorious gowns from seasons past, replete with enough bedazzled chiffon to make an appearance The Simple Life. Clearly these ladies are here for the right reasons—i.e. keeping the style legacy of Paris Hilton alive (humanitarians, truly).