SNP’s word of the day: Sexploded

Illustration by Lewis Mirrett

Illustration by Lewis Mirrett

Word: Sexploded

Meaning: To seek out and destroy a person and/or their relationship with the full summons of your sexual powers.

Usage: “Confirmed: Kim Kardashian Sexploded Kanye West and Amber Rose‘s Relationship.” — headline on yesterday

You should know it because: I’m very sorry about what happened to Kanye and Amber, and Demi and Ashton, and so and so, and so on, but “sexploded” is a hilarious term.

Apply it retroactively, especially to things that suck: Ginger White sexploded Herman Cain‘s campaign (actually, Herman Cain sexploded it himself, let’s not blame the victim). Evan Rachel Wood almost sexploded George Clooney‘s fictional campaign in The Ides of March; she also sexplodes everything she touches, no? If I could be any actress, I would be Evan Rachel Wood, ever the psychotic (but sensitive!) seductress. But moving on. Keira Knightley sexploded A Dangerous Method, a movie every smart person likes, except me. Amber Valletta‘s Revenge character (I refuse to call her by her name because they stole it from one of my favourite writers in the world) sexploded the Graysons’ marriage. Et cetera. It gets funnier the more you say it, trust. Of course, it’s generally women doing the sexploding, because if we know anything about “the dark continent,” it’s that vaginas are inherently dangerous and men can’t be expected to resist their life-sucking force. Are you sexy? You’re basically a ticking bombshell waiting to sexplode! God, I hope I’m not the only one amused by this.