OK, Let’s Leave Jennifer Lopez Alone Now
After months of intense speculation, J.Lo has filed for divorce from husband Ben Affleck. Does this mean she'll get a break from public scrutiny?
On August 20, Jennifer Lopez officially filed for divorce from Ben Affleck after two years of marriage, effectively marking the end of #Bennifer 2.0 and shattering dreams of a happily ever after for the king of Dunkin’ and queen of love. To be fair, the news shouldn’t come as a major surprise to pop culture enthusiasts. Rumours of the famous couple’s marital woes and impending split have been rampant since the beginning of 2024, with people adding J.Lo’s inevitable fourth divorce to a growing list of flops she has been accumulating in recent years. (With, of course, very little commentary about how the end of a second marriage reflects on Affleck — because, the patriarchy.)
Since May 2024, a “Bennifer Divorce Watch” has been almost as highly reported on as the U.S. presidential race, with media outlets sharing paparazzi photos of the couple together, separate, wearing wedding rings, without their wedding rings and speculating on whether or not they were selling their $68 million home.
And now that we have our official Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez divorce news, maybe it’s time we just leave J.Lo alone.
Treatment of J.Lo has often been steeped in misogyny
Since pretty much the moment Lopez stepped out on the block in 1991 as a Fly Girl on In Living Color, the actress and singer has faced an onslaught of — often sexist and racist — commentary. This accelerated when she first coupled up with Affleck in 2001. At the time, J.Lo, despite being established and having a successful music career, was painted as beneath her then-fiancé. While there were many reasons offered to explain the scrutiny she faced — she’d been married twice before, she was a mediocre singer — it’s hard not to wonder if some of the J.Lo criticism had to do with Lopez being a non-caucasian woman.
When the couple called off their wedding in September 2003, the Bennifer frenzy died down, but the interest around Lopez as a single woman who wanted to find love again? It was ramping up.
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Over the next almost-two decades, coverage of Lopez frequently centred around her love life and the idea that she was desperate to find a partner, with it implicit that the singer was aboth unable to be single but couldn’t catch a break when it came to love. Lopez herself has talked about her outlook on love, telling Vanity Fair in 2011, shortly after the end of her marriage to singer Marc Anthony, “Sometimes it doesn’t work — and that’s sad. But I remain an eternal optimist about love. I believe in love.”
This has been especially true since her marriage to Ben Affleck
And while initial reactions to Affleck and Lopez’s re-coupling in 2021 were flavoured with excitement (ICYMI, the couple, who had reportedly kept in touch in the years since their 2003 breakup, rekindled their flame via email that year), once the dust had settled on their July 2022 wedding, the speculation quickly began about just how long their second go-around would last.
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The release of Lopez’s 2024 This Is Me…Now: A Love Story musical film and accompanying Amazon documentary only sent speculation into overdrive, with many people painting Lopez as controlling and Affleck as generally indifferent towards his wife and marriage. Coupled with photos and videos of the pair at awards shows with Affleck looking less than thrilled (a grimace that could be chalked up to many things, like a bad day or having paparazzi watching your every move, and not just a sign of marital issues), didn’t help matters.
When, in July 2024, Lopez announced the cancellation of her upcoming “This Is Me…Live: The Greatest Hits” world tour in order to “‘be with her children, family and close friends,” rumours went into overdrive, with many people online speculating that Jenny from the Block is a workaholic and tension in her marriage was due to that — hence, the tour cancellation. Once again, despite the fact that a relationship takes two people, most of the public blame for their rumoured marital woes was thrust on Lopez, with Affleck skirting culpability.
Curiosity about her marriage has even followed her into her work life, with Lopez being asked about the status of her relationship multiple times this year during press tours and interviews.
It’s important to remember there are real people behind tabloid stories
The incessant commentary on Lopez’s relationship status and inability to “keep a man” (seriously, take them!!) and the assumption that Lopez is to blame for the end of *all* her relationships is pretty harmful. By now we know that society’s parasocial relationships with celebrities has kind of set us all up for failure, making fans feel like they know their fave celebs intimately and have a say in what they say, or do, while also simultaneously making us feel removed enough from them that we don’t take their feelings into account. While fans might take joy from the downfall of a celeb marriage, in doing so, we overlook the fact that this isn’t just an extension of their entertainment value. It’s not their job — it’s their real life.
Lopez has already given us enough of her time and energy in her performances and public persona, she has to — and deserves to — draw the boundary somewhere. And despite filing for divorce, the summer of 2024 has seen Lopez seemingly living her best life, going on solo vacays to Italy, spending time with both her and Affleck’s children and throwing herself a fittingly over-the-top Bridgerton-themed 55th birthday party. At least public-facing, she’s fine.
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But the chance of people backing down on scrutinizing celebs like J.Lo is slim
The likelihood that the public will accept the Jennifer Lopez divorce news and finally leaving J.Lo alone is pretty low. Per Lopez’s August 20 filing, the couple did not have a prenuptial agreement, meaning whatever assets they accumulated over their two years of marriage will need to be divided — which could get messy. And of course, because we are who we are, that means that we’ll probably be tuning in to watch.
