Not into Instagram filters as baby names? 5 suggestions that are just as…different
This week, Time magazine reported that millennial moms and dads are pulling baby name inspiration from—where else—Instagram. Names inspired by the photo sharing app’s various filters have increased in popularity in 2015, with the future class of youngins’ sporting names like Valencia, Amaro, Lux and even Kelvin. (“Kevin, is it?” young Kelvin’s new professors will ask. “No,” he’ll sigh. “It’s not.)
Since the rising popularity of these names spells out the end of their uniqueness—I mean, give it a few years and you won’t be able to walk a city block without tripping over a Lo-Fi or Inkwell—here’s a list of name suggestions for those new parents aspiring to keep things current.
You know all those kids who are named like, Paris or Milan, with the weird, implied understanding that it’s where their parents met and/or they themselves were conceived? Well, those days are gone. Meeting people IRL is a fantasy, and the name Tinder will reflect that modernity while giving a winking homage to your first date. Plus, it kind of sounds like Tinker, which sounds both like an adorable 1950s nickname for a precocious Yale chum and something Gwyneth Paltrow will name her next kid.
Seal. Sting. Drake. The power of the one-syllable name cannot be denied. What was one used as a verb to describe that boyfriend who never, ever texted you back is repurposed here as way to kickstart your first born’s music career, because screw that guy—your kid is gonna be famous. Added bonus? No last name necessary. Last names are for losers, and Ghost Lieberman doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
What better ode to the one thing that stayed by you all those tumultuous years of your twenties, the one provider that was always reliable, mostly on time and usually not cold? Yes, you would be naming your child after an online food delivery service, but it’s way better than Kelvin, and when said with a slight French accent it sounds kind of like the name of an expensive French perfume. Fancy!
This name is all about balance. It’s the perfect fit for a parent who feels like a hippie at heart, but is also one with technology—a person who lives in San Francisco and makes crazy tech money, but who loves a good trip to Burning Man and only relies on Eastern Medicine. It’s ethereal yet grounded, unisex, and also works as a solid code name were your child to ever join any kind of elite spy unit.
Emoji. No, not the word. An actual Emoji.
Although it’s not for the faint-of-heart parent, labelling your child with a literal Emoji symbol is probably the most off the grid you can go when it comes to baby names, and not likely to be copied. A perfect ode to our modern speech, your child is guaranteed to be the only one whose teachers and friends are forced to refer to him as “Evil Mask Emoji,” “Poop Emoji,” “Crying Face,”or “Lady Twins” on the playground. Is it legal? Not totally sure. Is it awesome? Yes. Yes it is.