Broad City: 5 (mostly made-up) awards that the show deserves to win

When the 2015 Emmy Nominations were announced last week, it became immediately clear that a key player was missing from the line up: Abbi Glazer and Illana Jacobson’s Broad City. For some inexplicable reason, the second season of the Comedy Central series has been snubbed this year, leaving those of us die hard fans of the show reeling with despair, like Matty Bevers without a rotisserie chicken. To fill the award-season void created by this travesty, I’m nominating the second season of the series with the following much-deserved (and made up) awards.

1. Best Handshake Since The Parent Trap

Broad City welcomed us back into its sweaty embrace in Season 2 by setting its first episode in the height of the summer—and leaving Abbi without an air conditioner. Voyaging to her sacred BB n’ B (Bed Bath & Beyond) to obtain one, Abbi has a series of increasingly ridiculous, joyful reunions with the employees, culminating in some sort of Irish jig. While there’s a lot to enjoy about this episode—Lincoln’s pasta blog, Seth Rogen, kittens, Abbi making out with a teenager—this scene, with its elaborate choreography and nod to Abbi’s past obsessions with the store from Season 1’s “The Lockout,” wins out.

2. Best Supporting Actor

Yes, I stole that award name from actual award shows, but my god, someone throw Paul Downs an Emmy, an Oscar and a Golden Globe. A writer, director and star on the series, Downs has really come into his own this season with his portrayal of Trey. What haven’t we learned about Trey this year? We’ve seen his apartment (right by Port Authority), learned he considers Abbi a close friend, and most importantly, about his background as an adult film star named Kirk Steele. It’s character twists like this—and details like the super sad “12/25” timestamp on Steele’s sexy pool video—that make Broad City what it is.

3. Most Original Sex Scene

Speaking of character twists, Abbi’s long-running crush on her neighbour Jeremy finally came to fruition in this season, when we learned that Jeremy’s interests extend past reclaimed wood and bespoke products. In a refreshing spin on a sitcom trope, when Abbi does finally get busy with Jeremy, she’s greeted with a surprise—he’s got a bespoke dildo, and he’d like her to do him with it. It’s called “pegging.” Maybe on Sex and the City, the story would have stopped there, but Abbi and Jeremy succeed in that department without a scratch. The real trouble arises when she puts the dildo in the wash, and we learn that the pegging wasn’t the real event of the episode but rather a device through which to reveal Jeremy’s pretensions.

4. Best Costumes

Illana Jacobson: terrible employee, dope babysitter, sexual revolutionary and above all, best-dressed bitch on television. Not since Phoebe Buffay on Friends has a character’s quirky sartorial choices so well-reflected her inner self. Whether she’s attending a funeral, wearing a discounted “white power” suit or just havin’ a night out, Illana is killing it in fitted, inappropriate ensembles. Her clothing is a perfect embodiment of her character—energetic, sexy, fearless and weird.

5. Best Nudity

Female nakedness on television is a widely disputed topic, especially when the bodies being displayed don’t look like Alexandra Daddario’s on True Detective. God knows how many hours internet commenters have wasted debated Lena Dunham’s ping-pong scene in Girls.

Yet in the world of Broad City, Glazer and Jacobson seem to poke fun at the ridiculous attention the media pay to women’s bodies by being naked….whenever they want, and not usually in a sexual context. Empty apartment? Cue Abbi stripping down and rocking out to Lady Gaga’s “Edge of Glory.” Life-drawing class? Illana is going to be there, and she’s going to do complex yoga poses. The women on the show don’t need to prove anything by being naked, other than reminding us that whether they’re clothed or naked in a half-completed pretzel, they’re still the funniest women on television.