Are celebrity Twitter feuds the new celebrity DUIs?
Zayn Malik has no chill. Or officially, #ZAYNHASNOCHILL, as per legions of One Direction fans who created the hashtag after the former 1D member lashed out at supposed pal/producer, Naughty Boy. (Woof.)
The whole thing went down like this: Malik quit One Direction and joined forces with Naughty Boy back in April. Then, the two got into a Twitter fight with One Direction’s Louis Tomlinson in May. But since, the two resolved things (as per Louis’ interview with James Corden) and the tables have turned. So, after Naughty Boy (allegedly) leaked part of the “No Type” video (which features Zayn) on Snapchat, Malik lost his shit.
“Someone learned how to upload a video,” he tweeted. “Maybe now he should learn how to use logic ha you ain’t shit but a faker.”
“@NaughtyBoyMusic you fat joke stop pretending we’re friends no one knows you,” he added.
Way harsh, Tai.
But while we’re all obviously entertained, we also know the whole thing smacks of PG-13 melodrama which is appropriate only for movie characters, fictional premises, and teens trying to figure things out. (We’ve all been there.) It’s not appropriate for adult humans and certainly not celebrities who, according to how much work it takes to stay buoyant in an unforgiving industry, should have better things to do. (Like work, or sleep on piles of money.)
I mean, we get it: attention is great, and so is a well-placed zinger in a confrontation that’s felt a million years in the making. But airing out one’s grievances via 140 characters isn’t the stuff of power, it’s the equivalent of posting a rant in one’s ICQ info box back in 2001, and then congratulating one’s self with the purchase of a four-pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade. It’s juvenile, and it’s embarrassing. There’s a reason the people we respect the most don’t go to the mattresses on a forum where everybody can see: having no chill is a reputation you don’t lose. And nobody seems powerful when you know they’re seconds away from name-calling as part of a knee-jerk reaction—in front of their thousands and millions of followers.
Arguably, Twitter spats are just upsetting—mostly for anyone who’s forced to watch. When Diplo lashed out at Taylor Swift on Twitter last year, it made him look like a petulant child, not a producer we should take seriously or respect. When Khloe Kardashian and Amber Rose went head to head on social media last year, it felt less like watching two capable humans exchanging words and more like Zack Morris and Slater fighting over a ruined date in Saved By the Bell (read: stupid). Even Bette Midler and Ariana Grande’s short-lived feud was weak, mainly because some of us like to think of Midler doing anything other than throwing shade at teen singers. And when Tomlinson and Malik exchanged words in the spring, all I could think about was that Sex and the City moment in which Carrie breaks up Aidan and Big’s full-on brawl. (“Stop it! You’re middle-aged!”)
Of course, there are exceptions. This weekend, Hunger Games actress Amandla Stenberg addressed Kylie Jenner’s cultural misappropriation (after the model/reality star took a selfie of herself wearing cornrows) on Instagram, which led to Stenberg posting a note on Twitter that elaborated on what she meant. This wasn’t a question of pettiness or insults, it’s a question of a real-life issue that’s perpetuated by white women like Jenner appropriating black culture for the sake of trendiness. This wasn’t shade being thrown, it was truth.
But Malik and friends weren’t trying to educate the masses on matters of culture and race. In this case, he lost his shit and looked like a kid screaming in the mall.
The thing is, in real life, nobody cares about petty grievances (aside from on Festivus, when that’s the whole point). If any of us were to take to Twitter and start having a tantrum, our friends would intervene and ask if everything was okay — and then likely feel ashamed from us for not being able to communicate in an adult-like way. Celebrities may live by a different set of rules, but this is one they certainly aren’t exempt from. Especially since there are ways of communicating that are private, more mature, and far more businesslike than calling somebody fat for the sake of staying relevant.
Because that’s what Twitter feuds scream: look at me. And while the whole point of Twitter is to garner attention, praise, favs, RTs, work, and even friends, starting a fight on one of the largest social media platforms is the grown-up equivalent of standing in the middle of a high school cafeteria and throwing your hamburger at the wall. We know you want us to look at you, and now you’ve ruined our lunch.
