Art via Daily Hive / Walt Disney Company

The Most Disappointing April Fools’ Jokes of 2018

We're laughing through the tears.

April Fools’ Day is a very important holiday. It’s the one day we can do horrible things to the people we care about, all in the name of an unknown “tradition.” But it’s not just make-believe break-ups and pretend pregnancies: big brands and companies often capitalize on the light-hearted tomfoolery in the name of “marketing.” From prank products to fake news, April 1st is all about playing games with people’s emotions. Sometimes, those emotions are distraught and sadness, because rather than making our eyes roll, these five spoofs had us wishing for the real thing.

Swiss Chalet Sauce Fountain

There are two things that all great parties need to have: a sauce fountain and Swiss Chalet. And so, imagine our excitement when the iconic Canadian chicken chain promised to bring the two together. (And then, imagine our disappointment when we discovered it was a “joke.”) Swiss Chalet might be playing a prank on us with this budget video, but that won’t stop us from recreating the magic at home with a rented fountain and a couple packs of Chalet sauce mix.

Disney Land opens resort on Toronto Island

My heart was ready to melt into puddles of happiness at the thought of Mickey Mouse living a ferry ride away. But alas, my dreams of a backyard Cinderella castle were crushed. Sure, a Disney theme park would mean terrible things for Toronto traffic, but just think of the free nightly firework shows!

Netflix acquires Seth Rogen

We agree with Netflix, Serth Rogen is a “world-renowned Canadian person, prolific marijuana-doer, and winner of the 2015 MTV Movie Award for “Best Kiss.” While we’re a little disappointed that the famed comedian and streaming service haven’t entered into a lifetime deal, we’re hyped for Rogen’s new Netflix special, Hilarity for Charity.

Terroni’s Glow in the Dark Noodles

This would have been huge for our Instagram game. Plus, fancy Italian restaurants always have the worst lighting. With glow in the dark noodles, you might actually be able to see what you’re eating.

SodaStream’s SodaSoak

Who wound’t want to bath in fizzy water? I’ve been on the hunt for an easy way to upgrade my old school clawfoot tub in a modern Jacuzzi, and I finally thought I’d found my fix. Everything about this ad — especially the cameo from Game of Throne’s The Mountain — sold this fake product to me.