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Bella Hadid Opens Up About her Struggle With Mental Health

"I feel guilty for being able to live this incredible life, have the opportunities that I do, but somehow still be depressed."

By Sarah Mariotti

Date November 15, 2019

Bella Hadid looks flawless in the selfies she posts on Instagram and has us mesmerized in every runway show she walks. But while attending the Vogue Fashion Festival in Paris today, the famous model shared that she struggles balancing her emotional and mental wellbeing with her career.

“I would cry every single morning, I would cry during my lunch breaks, I would cry before I slept,” she said, referring to the early days of her demanding career.

Hadid was the “top model new generation” speaker at this morning’s session, and the recognizable Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show veteran admits she didn’t feel her best on that particular runway. Her first time feeling completely confident modelling lingerie was actually at Rihanna’s last Savage x Fenty RTW show in September. “Rihanna’s amazing. For me, that was the first time on a runway that I felt really sexy,” Hadid said in the Potocki hotel in Paris. It’s no surprise that Rihanna’s inclusive show had models feeling empowered, especially considering Rihanna directed them to walk whichever way they wanted.

It’s normal for the 23-year-old to be working alongside elite designers and photographers—Tom Ford is just one of the many—and she acknowledged how grateful she is for her stance in the industry. But although the model is experienced and known worldwide, she isn’t excused from the emotions we all feel. “I feel guilty for being able to live this incredible life, have the opportunities that I do, but somehow still be depressed. It doesn’t make sense,” she confessed.

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I wanted to say thank you so much for all the birthday wishes. You have no idea how much it means to me reading each message.? Yesterday was mental health awareness day. A struggle that I know a majority of us have dealt with in the past or dealing with currently. And if not, you probably know someone who is.. something that I have been dealing with for a few years but finally at a point where it doesn’t consume me as much as before. still have bad days along with the good, but grateful and proud of myself to be in the place that I am today, going into my 23rd year of life. with that being said , I would like to add that everything you see online or through social media is not always what it seems..the happiness we create online while being sad in real life makes no sense, but sometimes it just seems easier to live within your sadness rather than talk about it. if it wasn’t for the people closest to me, I probably would have still been in that place, and for that, I am forever thankful to them…don’t feel pressured by things online…if you don’t want to get out of bed, don’t. If you want to cancel plans, cancel them. Being kind and protective to yourself and your energy is something I’ve learned to be helpful. When the world feels like it is collapsing around you, you are allowed to ask for help… you do not have to deal w/ your mental state alone. We need to spread love and allow love in. Be kind ! To the people around you! strangers! everyone!.be aware! the moments that we have are singular and you will never know the struggle or the pain of another person until you are in their shoes. so reach out n ask. We all need love&support and if you can be the one to bring somebody happiness or a calmness that they can't find in themselves, please be that person..You never know how much your words or just a smile can change someone’s day n even yours as well.If you are reading this and feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel… there is … and I see you ! You are strong , you are good enough and you DESERVE to be happy!!I am going to write a new morning mantra right now and you should too! I love all of you out there so much! Sending a big virtual hug

A post shared by ? (@bellahadid) on Oct 11, 2019 at 11:27am PDT

However, Hadid is turning her experience around, using it as an opportunity to create alleyways communicating her feelings. “Showing people what I support, the things that I love in my life that I’m passionate about, is something that’s very important to me, so I hope that in the future I can show that more. For a while I just shut it off, but I’m back.”