I tried the biggest Instagram beauty trends of 2015
Well, I did it: in the ultimate act of selflessness (and not having a ton to do on a Thursday night), I tried 2015’s biggest Instagram beauty trends because I am both the hero you need and deserve right now.
Full disclosure, I expected to hate every one of them. The idea of over-lining my lips or making up half my face (thus letting the world see my Charlize Theron in Monster-esque natural eyebrows) was off-set only with the promise of being able to make jokes about all of it, and I certainly didn’t expect to defer from my “oh hell no” stance.
But never saying never exists for a reason. So while I may vow never to go overboard with lip liner, I can’t say the same for, say, dumping glitter on my head.
Not that I’m about to give anything away here, though.
1. Over-lined lips
It seems pretty straightforward: apply lip liner around the outside of your lips, fill in the rest, then top off with lipstick. (Check.) Finally, expect Kylie Jenner-like results — right? Hell no, friends. In my case, my excess lip liner just led to me looking like: a) I’d never used lip balm in my life and was now suffering the results, and b) I had no idea how to use lipstick. Ultimately, I can sum up the look like this: one year, I tried lip-plumping balm that led to my lips eclipsing the sun and eventually breaking out in a major allergic reaction. And for some people, it works. For the rest of us, it’s flashbacks of hoping your high school crush doesn’t ask what happened to you.
Also, yes, it’s completely normal to be very envious of my oversized, second-hand men’s plaid shirt.
2. Blue lipstick
Out of all the trends, I was most excited about using blue lip colour, especially since I’ve recently been hoarding lipstick I would’ve previously written off last year. That’s why I committed to this wholeheartedly: I painted my lips with a glossy blue stain, and waited for the sexy results. Then heartbreakingly, the sexiest thing that happened was the transfer of colour from my lips to my teeth, making me look like the third-grade version of myself, who lived exclusively on blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers, Gatorade, and those rocket popsicles.
Granted, as someone currently wearing a matte navy lipstick, I feel comfortable telling you I think a matte product would’ve yielded a better outcome. So maybe think of it this way: if a beauty product resembles those tubes of gel candy, save it for an after-class snack. Or, just smear a blue freezie around your mouth and look exactly the same.
Also yes, I added a hoodie for dramatic effect.
It’s important you all know that I, like my grandmother before me and every person now, fill in my eyebrows. It’s who I am, it’s who I will be, and without it, I — as previously mentioned — look like Charlize Theron in Monster. (Which has been confirmed by many friends by their very weak responses of, “Oh…no, I don’t…you look fine.”) So, I went into Instagram eyebrows with gusto. I filled in the ends using a brush and dark eye shadow, left the rest undefined and…
looked exactly the same. I just looked like me. Me, and my PMS-sanctioned complexion.
Hello, new day-to-day look. Based on our collective obsessed with Harvey Dent aka Two Face in Batman (just kidding — or am I?), we’ve all taken to social media to draw attention to #ThePowerOfMakeup and its transformative ways. Evidently, most of us do not wake up “like this,” and to look like we did, we throw on everything from concealer to lipstick to eyeliner to whatever lessens the imperfections before heading out the door.
So, to prove this to anyone who wasn’t aware, here is what happens when I applied those things to only half my face.
And, I mean, there’s an obvious difference. First, because I am only wearing makeup on one half of my face, and second, because I am only wearing makeup on one half of my face. You into that? You think it looks cool? Do you like how I felt so weird taking so many selfies that I had to laugh at what my life had become? Exactly.
Enter: my destiny. Hello, an accurate depiction of who I am, in beauty trend form. I love hairspray, I love glitter. I loved soaking my hair in hairspray and dumping gold glitter on it accordingly, creating the look I was born to have.
Why are we trying any other trend? Why have we not been wearing our hair like this every day since glitter was invented? Why am I not typing this from a glitter bath, while selecting the next shade of glitter I plan to dump on myself today? Are we human? Or are we glitter?
Sorry, I can’t answer that, I will instead be applying matte blue lipstick while staring at my glitter roots in the mirror for all eternity. Happy 2016!
, I tried 2015’s biggest Instagram beauty trends because I am both the hero you need and deserve right now.
Full disclosure, I expected to hate every one of them. The idea of over-lining my lips or making up half my face (thus letting the world see my Charlize Theron in Monster-esque natural eyebrows) was off-set only with the promise of being able to make jokes about all of it, and I certainly didn’t expect to defer from my “oh hell no” stance.
But never saying never exists for a reason. So while I may vow never to go overboard with lip liner, I can’t say the same for, say, dumping glitter on my head.
Not that I’m about to give anything away here, though.
1. Over-lined lips
It seems pretty straightforward: apply lip liner around the outside of your lips, fill in the rest, then top off with lipstick. (Check.) Finally, expect Kylie Jenner-like results -- right? Hell no, friends. In my case, my excess lip liner just led to me looking like: a) I’d never used lip balm in my life and was now suffering the results, and b) I had no idea how to use lipstick. Ultimately, I can sum up the look like this: one year, I tried lip-plumping balm that led to my lips eclipsing the sun and eventually breaking out in a major allergic reaction. And for some people, it works. For the rest of us, it’s flashbacks of hoping your high school crush doesn’t ask what happened to you.
Also, yes, it’s completely normal to be very envious of my oversized, second-hand men’s plaid shirt.
2. Blue lipstick
Out of all the trends, I was most excited about using blue lip colour, especially since I’ve recently been hoarding lipstick I would’ve previously written off last year. That’s why I committed to this wholeheartedly: I painted my lips with a glossy blue stain, and waited for the sexy results. Then heartbreakingly, the sexiest thing that happened was the transfer of colour from my lips to my teeth, making me look like the third-grade version of myself, who lived exclusively on blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers, Gatorade, and those rocket popsicles.
Granted, as someone currently wearing a matte navy lipstick, I feel comfortable telling you I think a matte product would’ve yielded a better outcome. So maybe think of it this way: if a beauty product resembles those tubes of gel candy, save it for an after-class snack. Or, just smear a blue freezie around your mouth and look exactly the same.
Also yes, I added a hoodie for dramatic effect.
3. Instagram eyebrows
It’s important you all know that I, like my grandmother before me and every person now, fill in my eyebrows. It’s who I am, it’s who I will be, and without it, I -- as previously mentioned -- look like Charlize Theron in Monster. (Which has been confirmed by many friends by their very weak responses of, “Oh...no, I don’t...you look fine.”) So, I went into Instagram eyebrows with gusto. I filled in the ends using a brush and dark eye shadow, left the rest undefined and...
looked exactly the same. I just looked like me. Me, and my PMS-sanctioned complexion.
4. #ThePowerOfMakeup
Hello, new day-to-day look. Based on our collective obsessed with Harvey Dent aka Two Face in Batman (just kidding -- or am I?), we’ve all taken to social media to draw attention to #ThePowerOfMakeup and its transformative ways. Evidently, most of us do not wake up “like this,” and to look like we did, we throw on everything from concealer to lipstick to eyeliner to whatever lessens the imperfections before heading out the door.
So, to prove this to anyone who wasn’t aware, here is what happens when I applied those things to only half my face.
And, I mean, there’s an obvious difference. First, because I am only wearing makeup on one half of my face, and second, because I am only wearing makeup on one half of my face. You into that? You think it looks cool? Do you like how I felt so weird taking so many selfies that I had to laugh at what my life had become? Exactly.
5. Glitter roots
Enter: my destiny. Hello, an accurate depiction of who I am, in beauty trend form. I love hairspray, I love glitter. I loved soaking my hair in hairspray and dumping gold glitter on it accordingly, creating the look I was born to have.
Why are we trying any other trend? Why have we not been wearing our hair like this every day since glitter was invented? Why am I not typing this from a glitter bath, while selecting the next shade of glitter I plan to dump on myself today? Are we human? Or are we glitter?
Sorry, I can’t answer that, I will instead be applying matte blue lipstick while staring at my glitter roots in the mirror for all eternity. Happy 2016!){kind=link}