This documentary has it in the bag. (Sorry.)

Betcha never knew that sperm wear chinos
Betcha never knew that sperm wear chinos.

Even the miracle of life needs a makeover today. Discovery Channel’s The Great Sperm Race (airs June 21,, a British-Canadian co-production is inspired by the fact that any given ejaculation can produce 250 million sperm, but only one “winner” will meet the egg. The squiggly journey of sperm through the female reproductive system is blown up into live-action battlefield proportions. The tongue-in-cheek, albeit factual, approach involves auditing your average couple getting down to business while actor/sperm—millions of them—wait down there in the dangling meatballs, preparing for battle. Once the deed is done, a vast Rocky Mountain pass doubles as the vagina, which the sperm-actors stampede through to reach the ever-elusive egg. Only Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers looked this good. The path is harrowing and humorous—millions will die in the race, millions more will come up against scary sperm-killing leukocytes and only a handful will swim up into the foreboding fallopian tubes in this race against the clock. Remember, a woman produces a finite number of eggs in her lifetime, and if she’s lucky one egg is released every month for a scant few days. Timing is everything. In the end, we’re left weary and bewildered at the odds—yet somehow, we make babies. Having personally assisted in this great race, I can tell you, I always look at my son and think of him as a miracle, but it’s refreshing to look at dad and see him for the winner he truly is.

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