True Blood recap: We take wardrobe cues from Bill’s punk days, Pam’s sparkly mini and what Jessica wore to dirty dance at Fangtasia

When we left off last week, we’d been quickly caught up on what had been happening in Bon Temps while Sookie took her Fae sabbatical. Now that the fairy dust has settled, we start to see what this season will be about: Jason’s new animal urges, Eric and Sookie playing house, and a woo-ooh, witchy woman, who’s got the moon in her eyes.

Somebody’s Baby Tonight
-Eric and Sookie continue their not-yet-lovers quarrel about Eric’s landlord status—he asks nicely for her to be his so he can protect her, but she’s not biting and neither is he for now.
-Sookie heads to Bill’s to appeal to him for help and learns about his new royal rank from his guards.
-She interrupts Bill and Katerina, the sexed up spy-witch, finishing up from some post debriefing de-briefing. By this we mean that they were doing the deed, which makes it the second between-the-sheets scene for the season. Check!
-Bill is kind of noncommittal about helping Sookie and basically tells her to move on and move out. Out with the henleys, in with the ‘tude?

Sookie’s guide to what to wear to ask your ex for a favour
A chambray dress and mustard yellow cardie say: “I don’t want to seduce you, but you better still think I’m cute.” ($177,

Bill Vicious
-In the first of two Bill flashbacks this episode (what is this, Lost?), it’s 1982 and Bill is in a London punk club complete with spiky hair and a World’s End outfit.
-He meets Nan Flanagan, who looks more Human League than American Vampire League, in a Claude Montana-ish leather suit, big button earrings, and enough eye shadow and lipstick to fill a Big Brown Bag from Bloomies.
-Nan recruits Bill to help her bring down the Vampire monarchs (he is looking very “Anarchy in the U.K.,”after all) who won’t go for hers and the Authorities’ plans to mainstream once a vampire Louis Pasteur perfects the formula for synthetic blood. Yeah, that Louis Pasteur.

Bill’s Guide to Going Punk
Bill wears a Vivienne Westwood and Malcolm McLaren Vive le Rock T-shirt, a design favoured by Sex Pistol Sid Vicious. Get the look now!

Nobody Puts Jessica in the Corner
-Last episode, date night was not going well for Hoyt and Jessica, and they get escorted out of Fangtasia by Pam, who looks very Angelina Jolie in tight black leather pants and a jacket with alternating panels of black sheer and leather that emphasize her waspish waist.
-Hoyt gives a Johnny Castle-style speech about Jess to protestors picketing outside. Despite his heartfelt words, the night doesn’t end with a feel-good dance number and a complicated lift but with Hoyt getting a beat down.

Jessica’s guide to what to wear to go dirty dance at Fangtasia
A brightly hued, baby-doll sundress says “I’ve got a boyfriend, but I still want to be sexy.” ($28,

-Jason is tied to a dirty cot and being held hostage in Hot Shot. Felton and Crystal are behind it, and he’s got no safety word for the threesome they have planned for him: Make him a panther so he and Crystal can propagate the bloodline.
-Sam and Luna do some naked flirting, but she trots off (as a horse) once things get too serious.
-Luna shows up later at Merlotte’s in stiletto sandals and a tight dress that looks like the Kardashians got a hold of on of Bill’s old henleys. She apologizes, and then they make out and talk about her putting on a turtleneck to go teach horny boys.
-Later, Sam and Tommy have a cathartic naked fight in the woods—they must not have money in the wardrobe budget for some new jeans and plaid shirts for Sam this season.
-Jessica loses her home-with-Hoyt flannel for a lacy blue cami to seduce a fang banger at Fangtasia.

Pam’s guide to what to wear to work that won’t show blood stains

Nothing cleans as easily as black leather. Try this toughed up look from Gareth Pugh‘s Fall 2011 collection.

“Psychopathic Frat Boy”
-Tara and Sookie’s reunion is cut short by Sookie finding the cubby Eric has built in her (really his) house, and before they can chat about Tara’s hair and lesbianism over some ice cream, she’s off to Fangtasia.
-Pam, who looks like she’s off to an adult film awards show, gives Sookie a lecture on why she may want to take Eric up on his offer of protection.

Pam’s guide to what to wear to work when your leather is at the dry cleaners
Do like Paris Hilton and Katie Price and rock a one-shoulder sparkly mini that looks to be from Brian Lichtenberg‘s extensive collection of one-shoulder sparkly minis.

Heartbreaker, You’ve Got the Best of Me
-Eric isn’t at Fangtasia but is having a meeting about the Necromancer Social Club with his new King.
-Bill might be King, but Eric shows him who’s got the better man cleave. He lets his long necklace dangle between his pecs and sports a low-cut navy top and black quilted leather jacket—he’s like the Mariah Carey of male vampires.
-There’s talk of an “inquisition” long ago, which we’ll assume has to do with witch problems past. Before going off to do Bill’s bidding and take care of the coven, Eric does an amazing courtly finger flourish and bows to take his leave.
-We learn through another Bill flashback how he shot the Queen and was named King of Louisiana (who got the Kentucky title, we wonder?) by Nan, who really seems to like leather and Robert Palmer video vixen makeup.
-To protect Sookie, he lies to Nan about why the Queen wanted her. We’re guessing this lie will come back to bite him in the ass, and we’re guessing the one doing the biting will be Nan.

Nan Flanagan’s guide to what to wear to a Queen’s assassination
A double-breasted, black leather trench and boots, and slicked-back hair. Power vamp with a twist. ($800,

Coven Chameleon
-Back at Witch HQ, Tara sits to the side reading Good Housekeeping—I wonder what Heloise Hints witches find the most useful? Does she have one for getting the smell of death out of a recently brought-back body?
-Eric shows up and demands that the coven no longer convene, and when Marnie’s crew starts chanting, he goes for her jugular.
-Tara tries to save her and gets caught by Eric instead. Before he chomps, Marnie’s
eyes glow and someone else’s face (perhaps a witch from the last inquisition?) flashes across hers. Eric looks wide-eyed and does the vampire Tasmanian Devil spin out of there.
-Sookie, fed up after a fight with Jessica at Fangtasia, heads for home.
-On the way, she finds a topless Eric wandering along. He doesn’t recognize her but looks at her and asks, all innocently: “Why do you smell so good?”

And that’s it folks, until next week! Stay tuned for our recap of Episode 3 next Monday July 11! Catch new episodes of True Blood Sunday nights at 9 p.m on HBO Canada

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