Photography by Stefanie Keenan: Getty Images for Grey Goose

TIFF 2017: A 10-Minute Post-Premiere Party Review

FASHION Reviews Everything TIFF

The Toronto International Film Festival is mostly about cinema (obviously). But TIFF isn’t only about films. There are parties to attend, stars to spot on the street, and brand activations everywhere. It’s high time for all aspects of TIFF to get the same critical attention as the films.

Welcome to FASHION Reviews Everything TIFF-related. While this might not be an entirely comprehensive appraisal—it’s as impossible to be at every party as it is to see every film— if we attend anything linked to the Toronto International Film Festival in anyway, we’ll review it here.

How many breaths does a baby have to take in order to be pronounced alive? How many steps does one have to take before you can say you’ve walked? If you have a layover in San Francisco, and you don’t leave the airport, have you been to San Fran? How many hairs must a man keep on his head before he is bald? How long do you need to stay at a TIFF party in order to say you attended it?

Some questions have no specific answers. Although, I can throw some light on the final one: I stayed at the Grey Goose Vodka premiere party for Professor Marston and the Wonder Woman at the Soho House for exactly ten minutes.

They say you know within the first five minutes of meeting a potential romantic partner whether you will sleep with them or not. First impressions are famously important. Ten minutes at a party is enough to walk the length of the room three times, sample two of the bites on offer, and drink three expertly crafted signature cocktails. Ten minutes at a party is just long enough to feel how alone you are, but not long enough to force you to talk to any strangers. It is the amount of time it takes an introvert to decide they best be going home.

Sometimes I wish I were the type who talked to strangers. This party was inviting. Like mingling after a dinner party in our host’s study. The lights dimmed but not darkened, while the music allowed for inside voice talking. But, you can only walk across a room so many times, pretending you’ve just now found your friends, before you feel pathetic. So, I left. After ten minutes.

It turns out Ten Minutes is also long enough to discover a dark truth: Paul Feig—or someone who looks and dresses remarkably like him—the director of Ghostbusters, Spy, Bridesmaides, and creator of Freaks and Geeks, is probably a ghost. Or vampire. I’m not sure about the specific genus of his existence, but I know that in every pic I surreptitiously snapped of him with my iPhone came out eerily blurred. The faces around him are crisp, while his is a smudge of colour. It’s possible there’s a rational explanation for this. It’s against the rules of Soho House to take pictures, so maybe the structure itself conspired against me, or maybe Feig was just moving while he was chatting. But I can’t prove or disprove any theory at this point. Because I left after ten minutes.

— Soho is the best party venue I’ve experienced so far
— Paul Feig seems friendly. Or, the friendly person who seems like Paul Feig is friendly
— Just because I didn’t stay long, doesn’t mean I wasn’t impressed

Rating: ? ? ? ? ?