Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux got married because they wanted to restore our faith in love
We take it back: love is real, it is fuelling us, we believe in it, and please stop reading anything I wrote in the wake of Gwen and Gavin’s divorce announcement earlier this week. (I was sad, and wanted us all to suffer.)
So what’s with the change of heart? A side order of this: Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are now officially married, and everything makes sense again.
According to People, the duo tied the knot at the Bel-Air home, with 74 guests in attendance. (Cozy.) Candles (aw), Lisa Kudrow (yay), and Terry Richardson (eww) were all present, and the wedding took place just a few days before the three-year anniversary of their engagement. It was lovely, everybody was psyched, and now we can bite our thumbs at the allegations made earlier this week in regards to the demise of relationships we all once held so dear.
Now obviously, we still don’t know Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux. As I said earlier this week, Famouses are as much of a mystery as the person behind you in line at the grocery store (and maybe even more so, depending on what the guy behind you is carrying). But that still doesn’t devalue the happiness spawned by the Aniston-Theroux union. First, because these people seem to really like each other, and two people who like each other a lot is great. And second, because weddings are cool and fun and we’ll probably see quite a few less Aniston-oriented tabloids in the near future—which, like, thank goodness.
So, now that our faith in love has been restored, we have to remember one thing: while we may celebrate the victory of the Aniston-Theroux clans, we still know nothing about them (Jon Snow). Meaning that aside from surface happiness, all we can do is gush about them in this safe space, or among our friends, or while going to sleep at night. Unless, of course, you hear anybody say that Aniston needs to get pregnant now. Because if you do, you step up and squash that myth—just like you point your finger and curse any tabloid cover you see spitting the same rhetoric.
Now that, my friends, would be the greatest wedding present of all.