Episode 24: Girls night out

Despite assuring Lauren last week that she had no intention of befriending Heidi, Audrina is all too quick to accompany her to lunch when Heidi shows up at Epic Records. Heidi is grateful and doesn’t mind showing it. "You don’t know how nice it is to be able to talk to you again," she gushes. She invites Audrina along on a girls’ night out – "No boys, no Spencer," she declares. I’m sure that plan will work out perfectly.

Lauren arrives at People’s Revolution and hugs Whitney. "Is Kelly here?" she asks, glancing nervously over her shoulder and steeling herself for a repeat of their first meeting. (During season one, Cutrone scolded Lauren when she tried to score extra tickets for a sold out fashion show.) The PR maven is there, and she immediately puts Lauren and Whitney to work. "Oh my God, you guys are so slow," she remarks as she watches them pin models’ Polaroids to a board. She kicks publicist Jess (who, you’ll recall, she chewed out last week) out of a nearby chair and takes over the area in order to give our girls a crash course in booking models.

At Steph’s apartment, Spencer dejectedly sniffs a slice of bread before using it in his sandwich. Steph is headed out for Heidi’s girls’ night, and when Spencer asks her where they’ll be, of course she tells him. "Don’t wait up. Have fun, couch potato!" she calls over her shoulder as she leaves. She should have just waited for him to get ready and let him share her cab, because anyone who’s ever seen an episode of this show knows that Spencer’s showing up at that club.

Sure enough, the girls have barely settled in at S Bar when Spencer arrives and immediately starts chatting up two girls – within Heidi’s line of sight, of course. Heidi takes the bait. "I want to smash his face in," she complains to her friends. Spencer buys the random girls some shots. "They’re taking shots? They’re taking shots!?" Heidi exclaims. This brazen display of alcohol consumption pushes her over the edge and she gets up to leave. A smug Spencer intercepts, calls her "insane," then implies that she’s a hypocrite for going out to the clubs (yet getting angry when he does the same). Hmm, we must have missed the part where she was flirting with random guys. In any case, way to win her back, buddy!

The next morning, Audrina recaps her S Bar adventures for an exhausted-looking Lauren. "It was surprisingly gross how many girls were on [Spencer]," Audrina says. "He probably pays them," Lauren replies.

It’s time for another fashion show, and Lauren’s helping out. Kelly Cutrone shows Lauren and Whitney how to act like "a sheep-herding dog" and move the models ("anyone who looks tall with their hair done") around backstage. "Okay, girls, you’re gonna go line them up from the back," she says. "Don’t f*ck up."

Bolthouse. Heidi and Kimberly actually discuss work for a moment before getting down to the more important subject of Heidi’s love life. "I had the worst night of my life last night," Heidi says. She describes how Spencer was "surrounded by, like, a group of girls" and – gasp! – doing shots with them. "I have never felt so betrayed," she says. Kimberly has remarkable powers of restraint, as she does not roll her eyes at Heidi, but simply points out that Spencer’s just trying to make her jealous because he still cares about her.

Back at the fashion show, Lauren and Whitney are good little border collies, herding the models perfectly, and Kelly is pleased. "You go up the ladder to, like, bitch in training," she congratulates Whitney. "Lauren, you’ve gone from slow-mo to fashion glow." She offers her a job at People’s Revolution. "We wanna start making some changes in our L.A. office," she says pointedly, and beside her, publicist Jess looks scared.

Heidi calls Spencer and tells him to meet her at Bolthouse. When he pulls up outside, she jumps into his car and they immediately launch into an argument. Heidi tosses out her passive-aggressive "if you want to be single, be single" line again. "You pretty much made me single," Spencer replies. "You call it ‘relationship vacation;’ anyone else on planet Earth calls that ‘breaking up.’" I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the man’s got a point.

Shown: The Hills‘ Lauren Conrad. MTV.ca

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