9 Questions About the Cyrus Family’s Carpool Karaoke

Date August 30, 2017

It’s official: Miley Cyrus has returned to her family-friendly roots. Our favourite Hannah Montana-turned teen twerker-turned wholesome Tennessee pop star, got together with the rest of the Cyrus clan for a spirited rendition of Billy Ray’s “Achy Breaky Heart.” And TBH, I don’t know if I should be cringing or stomping along with an imaginary cowboy boot.

In a preview for the new Apple TV episode, papa Billy Ray and mama Tish pile their five adolescent children – Miley, Brandi, Trace, Braison and Noah – into a van for what we anticipate to be the most hectic carpool karaoke yet. While we wait on the full video, here are some questions we have about the chaotic first clip.

1. What’s up with that car?

First of all: it looks so compact from the outside, but so roomy on the inside. (I see that it’s a Cadillac, but it looks too mom-van-ish to be an Escalade?!) Also, it it typical for the family to travel via van? Or like, do they drive pick-up trucks and charter limos everywhere they go? I distinctly remember a headline about Miley drag racing her smart car in L.A...

2. Where are their seat belts?

Common guys, safety first — even for the family members in the back.

3. WTF is Miley wearing?

Okay I get the mullet thing. That works with the genre. But where did the Diddy-inspired gold grills come from? Why the pirate headband and creepy little braid? I don’t understand this hillbilly / rapper / Jack Sparrow look.

4. Hey Noah, why so fame thirsty?

Girl calm down, you already have a hit single. We know you can sing.

5. Why is the older one so miserable?

She looks pretty cramped — maybe that car is less spacious than I thought?! Or maybe, Noah is getting on her nerves too.

6. Was this moment sponsored by Apple?

Come on, Billy Ray, who keeps their iPhone in their front pocket? This “cute and authentic family moment” seems a little staged if you ask me.

7. Also is Coca Cola a sponsor?

I see that large soft beverage container in the back seat cup holder. TBH, it’s a better campaign strategy than Kendall x Pepsi.

8. Is that guy with the neck tats the lead singer of Mariana’s Trench?

Unclear. He’s the lead singer of Metro Station — which I’m pretty sure is the same thing.

9. Why isn’t the hot brother singing?

Dude, you would not be a millennial scion D&G model if not for this song. Do you seriously not know the words?

Maybe, he’s just concentrating on the road. In which case, well done handsome Cyrus sibling. Safe driving requires undivided attention, which begs the question: who exactly thought it was a good idea to film sing alongs from the front seat of a moving vehicle?