10 Things We Learned About Drake From His Impromptu Home Tour

Did you know he's into crystals?

(Photo: Getty Images)
(Photo: Getty Images)

If you’ve ever wanted a glimpse inside Canadian rapper Drake’s humble abode, now’s your chance, folks! Perhaps following in the footsteps of fellow Canadian Justin Bieber, who’s prone to giving his own off-the-cuff home tours from time to time, Drizzy took to social media on January 14 to give fans a glimpse into his home (or maybe his studio) and, in a way, his psyche. The crooner took fans on a journey through his humble abode with a series of Instagram stories. While he didn’t clarify where exactly the images were from (his still-being-built Toronto mega mansion, perhaps?), they no doubt came from an intimate space.

Aside from the fact that he legit decorates like every guy I knew in high school (i.e., not well), Drake’s Instagram story tour provided some pretty revealing info about the rapper. You know what they say: a picture’s worth a thousand words—and we have 10. Here’s everything we learned about the “God’s Plan” rapper from the *very* telling objects in his space.

He’s really into crystals

Paramount among our findings is the fact that—like pretty much any millennial who has spent time in Los Angeles—Drizzy’s into crystals, y’all! And when we say into crystals, we mean into crystals. Listen, given that he’s a busy guy on the move who’s juggling various rap beefs and collabs and flexing his freshly pierced ears on the ’gram, it only makes sense that he’d want to make sure his spiritual self is fully in check. And surely there’s no better way to do so than by ensuring his space is fully stocked with the healing energy of hunks of crystal. The real question is: Do we think he bathes with them?

He’s an old soul who misses the way things were

Drizzy once said “Nothing was the same,” and he was right. The year is now 2020; politically, the US is in a hellfire, the world is legit burning and the royal fam is a mess. It’s no wonder that nostalgia for the days of yore is at an all-time high. And, it turns out, Drake is on the nostalgia bandwagon. If a glimpse into his inner sanctum revealed anything, it’s that the Torontonian is an old soul with a taste for the oldies. Placed among the rapper’s other knick-knacks on his shelves were Michael Jackson’s famous Thriller album (signed, of course) and a lone DJ Screw cassette tape.

Later in the tour, Drake showed off a super-retro-looking record player in what looks like a room straight out of a 1970s porn film.

Do I think Drizzy *actually* uses any of these relics? Probs not. But I like to think that at the end of the day, he sits back with a nice glass of scotch and reminisces about the good old days when a literal orange infant wasn’t the leader of the free world.

He’s been thirsty for a while

And because he’s Drake, this wouldn’t be an authentic tour if there wasn’t a little bit of flexing. And what better way to flex than by showing off a signed letter from Barack and Michelle Obama? While Riri’s ex probs thought he’d get some clout for this photo, if anything, the 2017 letter—in which America’s favourite couple thanked Drizzy for passing along birthday wishes for Sasha Obama’s 16th birthday—just confirmed what a lot of fans already knew: The rapper has been thirsty for *a long* time.

Over the past few years, Drake has kind of made a bad name for himself when it comes to women, particularly because he engages with super-young women in a way that makes a lot of people (this writer included) uncomfortable. Maybe this time it was simply because the Obamas reached out to Drake to request the well wishes; who knows, he could have been a then-16-year-old Sasha’s fave singer. But I’m really hoping this wasn’t a case of Drake just texting back and forth with a teenage girl (like he reportedly does with both Millie Bobby Brown and Billie Eilish, who are 15 and 18, respectively).

He’s a DC Comics fan (and also seems super into figurines)

Again with the knick-knacks! Some people collect American Girl dolls, and some collect movie figurines. Turns out Drake is the latter. The singer shared a photo of DC Comics characters Harley Quinn and the Joker (played by Margot Robbie and Jared Leto, respectively, in Suicide Squad). Drizzy must be stoked about the upcoming Birds of Prey film. How much do we want to bet he rents out an entire theatre for it?

Also among his figurines collection? A mini Miami Heat basketball player, which is *interesting* considering how much of a diehard Raptors fan he is.

Seriously, Drake? What would Kawhi say?

He enjoys a well-scented space

Like any self-respecting man, Drake understands the importance of a great-smelling home. While we can appreciate that the rapper owns a bougie AF candle from Tom Ford, the fact that it doesn’t seem to be out of the box yet has us wondering if it’s just for show. Which, honestly, is fair. I’m all for a decorative candle (I have about five at home that will never actually be lit), just as long as there’s an inexpensive one from Bath & Body Works flickering in the background.

He truly loves his mom (and it’s mutual)

Drake has said it time and time again—he’s a true mama’s boy. And now he’s showing us that the love is mutual (while also potentially poking fun at his relationship status?). We’re pretty sure mama Sandra would argue that her little boy has a face *everyone* loves, but, hey, that’s what moms always say.

He’s been shopping on Canal street

On first glance, it might *seem* like Drake’s rug is an indication that he’s supporting fellow Canadian crooner Bieber—the smiley face *does* look pretty similar to the logo for Bieber’s Drew House brand—but the double eyes give it away as a fraud! Perhaps, having spent too much on his personalized private jet or having spent a ton on Adonis over the holiday season, Drizzy just didn’t have the funds to support his fellow Canadian. Could we *really* fault him for popping over to New York’s infamous Canal Street (in said private jet, obvi) to pick up a lookalike rug to achieve that Drew House aesthetic?

He’s a lover of fine art

Forget Rembrandt and boring old Picasso (probably Drake’s words, not mine)—it’s all about the alternative art. In a time when a banana taped to a wall (and then subsequently eaten) can be sold for $160,000, why shouldn’t we appreciate a statue throwing up the middle finger? I’d like to think this is mounted straight across from a painting of Kanye West. The shade!

He’s even more obsessed with Sade than we thought

He already has face her tatted on his body (twice!), and now we know that Drake *also* has Sade memorialized on his wall. In one image, he flashed a message that the iconic singer had scrawled in black sharpie: “Shine on Drake,” the message reads, “love Sade x.”

A lovely message to wake up to, for sure, but my only question is: WTF is her famous signature scrawled on? A framed sheet of floral wallpaper? One of Sade’s own gorge embroidered scarves? A print made by baby Adonis in a mommy and me class? We need these answers!

And might be a member of the Illuminati?

The final post on Drake’s Insta stories may have been the most revealing of them all. Is Drizzy trying to tell us that he’s in the Illuminati? For those who aren’t in the know, according to Complex, the Illuminati theory is the notion that there’s a secret network of powerful people who are bent on controlling society by rebuilding it as a “New World Order” under a totalitarian worldwide government. The Illuminati is the group that the theory refers to, and, since at least 1995, the rumour that some members of the rap world are associated with said group has been prevalent. It’s often used to justify the continued success of particular artists, including Jay Z, Beyoncé and Lady Gaga, who are thought to be “puppets” of the members of this group. There are a few symbols associated with the group by conspiracy theorists, and one of the main ones is…a pyramid! So, is Drake trying to tell us something? Is he, too, under the hand of these faceless Illuminati members?

FWIW, the symbol in the middle of the pyramid appears to actually be the Star of David, which means this is probably just a seriously extra and slightly religious mega crystal. Either way, I am intrigued.