True Blood recap: We take wardrobe cues from Jason’s oh-so-tight Levi’s, Sookie’s army jacket and what Lafayette wears while he’s inhabited by a ghost
Last week, the sight of Eric and Sookie christening every room of the house may have scarred our memory, but other stuff happened too: Lafayette is a medium, Tommy is a skin walker who can shift into people, and Bill and his vamps took a self-imposed silvering to try to beat Antonia at her game of unhide-and-go-seek-the-sun.
Stackhouse Tackle
– Jessica, under Antonia’s spell, opens the door to meet the sun only to get tackled by tight end (not sure if that was his football position; we’re mostly alluding to his butt) Jason who rushes in Superman-style, hair blowing in slow motion. He wraps her in a carpet and shuts the door faster than you can say “touchdown.”
-She’s no football, and so she’s quickly on top of him and about to bite when Antonia and her rag-tag witches stop chanting.
-Jess is slightly singed but grateful Jason saved her and a thank you make-out ensues as Bill shouts her name from below.
-Jason carries her to bed like a groom with a bride (we doubt she’s too weak to walk, but we wouldn’t turn that down either) and re-chains her—they don’t know when Antonia will start chanting again.
-Oh, and that gunshot from last week? That was Jason shooting a guard in the shoulder, but all is forgiven.
Talking Pack
-A Shreveport weres town meeting has been called by packmaster Marcus, wearing his “denim shirt and leather jacket” uniform, who lays it down: They’re not to get involved in this vamp/witch war.
-What goes unsaid: denim and leather were meant to be worn together. Alcide’s got on leather and Debbie’s got on denim; same goes for most of the pack.
-A young were with Dirk Diggler hair thinks he can beat a vamp in a fight; Marcus scoffs, and then later at the were BBQ the cocky fellow gets in a fight that Marcus and Alcide break up. This all shows Alcide and Debbie how uninterested this packmaster is in trouble, testosterone, and tempers—but is he really?
-Marcus gives Alcide a speech about following his own path and respecting that, but Alcide still doesn’t quite trust pack politics; Debbie gives him a speech about staying away from Sookie because she’s trouble, and Alcide promises he will—but will he really?
-Sam, who is also wearing a denim jacket today, checks in on Luna who’s got on jeans and a flowered low-cut top; she lets Sam in to play with Emma after he tells her he sent Tommy packing for good.
-Marcus shows up unannounced to tuck Emma in and is mega-pissed to see Sam having dinner with his family. He threatens Sam and then takes off so Luna won’t call his parole officer.
Debbie’s guide to a pack meeting day look
Save the leather for night runs and pick up a denim jacket with a retro deep-blue wash like a Textile Elizabeth & James jean jacket ($325, revolveclothing.com) that’s slightly deconstructed.
Feels Like The Fur Time
-Post-sundown, Sookie painfully pulls silver chains off Eric. He’s hungry, bleeding, and in need of healing. A Tru Blood won’t help, so Sookie offers herself up for a quick pint. They talk about trust before he bites, and after a little sip of Capri Sun Sookie he offers her a taste of his blood and she takes it while giving him sexy eyes.
-Sookie is tripping on V and Eric’s got a fairy-high. (Not sure why her blood is so strong for Eric; Bill never tripped out.)
-The shower they climb into (do they both need pedicures, or is it just me?) is like a Narnia porthole to a snowy forest with a bed instead of a lamppost.
-After sex in the magical forest where it snows and is sunny at the same time, Sookie and Eric are wrapped in fur blankets tripping out and talking about what’s “possible.” Apparently, the stoner answer is “all.”
-Back in bed (the real one), a sober Eric wants to run away and Sookie thinks they should stay and fight. She’s too much of a realist for running.
-Eric and Sookie show up at Bill’s to help him fight. Showing how different they are, they eschew the ubiquitous leather and go for tractor-chic: denim coat with corduroy trim (him) and a khaki field coat (her).
-Bill: “Sookie, you could die.” When has that ever stopped her, Bill?
Sookie’s guide to what to wear to a witch war
Well let’s not go buy anything special; it’s just another night out in the Bon Temps cemetery. You’ve been there plenty of times before with faeries, having sex with Bill, burying Tara’s boyfriend, and so on. A khaki anorak like this Old Navy cropped jacket ($45, oldnavy.ca) will keep out the inevitable spooky Scooby Doo fog.
It’s Not You, It’s Me
-Jessica heads back home after dark to a drunk, stinky, and slightly randy Hoyt. She talks about a hunger he can’t fulfill and he falls apart, begging her on his knees and blocking the door. Her response: She kills him?
-Jason is waiting outside in the truck to offer his blood and body to her, but then Jessica wakes up and the fantasy is gone.
-A jean jacket–wearing Jessica heads home for real—this has to be a record for jean jackets on a True Blood episode. She launches into a break-up that doesn’t go the same way she dreamed it would—Hoyt is pissed and lists all the reasons why she sucks (no vampire pun intended) and rescinds his invitation, which in effect kicks her out.
-Jessica visits Jason to tell him she broke up with Hoyt. (What came first, those jeans or Jason? It’s like one begat the other, they’re so perfectly molded to his butt.) Jason isn’t about to hurt his best friend since first grade, so he sends her out and does push ups to burn off the sexual frustration.
Jason’s guide to jeans that make you look like you walked off of a Bruce Weber set
Jason is the only guy we know who can make jeans look so, uh, revealing. We’re guessing he’s still wearing the same pair he did in high school. They look like classic Levi’s 501 jeans ($70, us.levi.com) he’s broken in, but you could get them in the Aged Perfect wash for a similar effect. However, we doubt your ass will look as good as his. Sorry.
Meanwhile…
-Andy is investigating Mrs. Fortenberry’s vamp neighbour Buella Carter who’s met the sun, and he wants to lick her blood up to get a V fix—“Jesus, tits, and God America” he’s addicted.
-While Mrs. Fortenberry gets interviewed by the local Diane Sawyer, Bill shows up to gain himself an opportunity to make an on-air statement and do vamp PR damage control.
-Tommy ransacks Mrs. Fortenberry’s house for clothes, granny panties, makeup, and costume jewelry. Though we know exactly what he’s going for, we secretly wish that he’s decided to go all Lafayette with his troubles.
-A crazed-looking Mrs. Fortenberry shows up at Merlotte’s talking like a trucker, or a skin walker Tommy, to discuss a natural gas lease with Paul McClatchy.
-FortenTommy pockets some cash before running into the forest, throwing up blood and passing out.
-Mikey is chilling in his playpen with his creepy doll as Terry keeps an eye on him in a mirror in the Merlotte’s kitchen. His ghost friend comes to sing a lullaby when in comes LaLa, who skedaddles at the site of her.
-Later, LaLa is sleeping on the couch in Mammy’s head wrap and has a flashback to the ghost. She’s had her baby killed by its white daddy, and she’s obviously rather distraught about the loss, as she just bought a new doll.
-Now awake, Lafayette who’s also wearing a peach raglan-sleeve sweatshirt that’s just shy of Footloose, opens up and becomes inhabited by the spirit.
-Possessed, Lafayette shows up at a fancy house—it’s the Bellefleur mansion and Andy is sleeping—and he grabs Andy’s gun and snatches Mikey and the zombie doll.
Lafayette’s guide to couch-potato chic
You’re probably more likely to nap than dance, but a little ’80s aerobics style is the perfect inspiration for getting your groove on in your downtime. Make sure the colours are faded neons like this Billabong top ($45, billabonggirls-usa.com) that has the perfect almost-off-the-shoulder neckline.
Heading for a Showdown
-Tara and Antonia watch Bill’s statement on the news. Antonia’s pissed that only one vampire died. Is it just us, or does Antonia kind of talk like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas? Maybe it’s all the talk of knocking vamps off.
-Bill calls Antonia to negotiate peace from the backseat of his limo; he asks her to meet at the Bon Temps cemetery, which this season is getting some serious traffic from witches, vamps, and faeries. (Too bad Gran can’t get up out of her grave and make everyone tea!)
-At the meeting, Antonia has finally upped Marnie’s fashion game with a tight leather coat that looks like something J.Lo wore in The Cell—or a shrunken version of something old Eric would wear. She’s even layered an over-sized burgundy belt overtop in an interesting (read: ugly) styling move. The jacket seems a bit off-character. I would’ve expected a velvet cape or something less contemporary, but maybe it’s harder to find a cloak than I think.
Antonia’s guide to looking tough for a vampire showdown
Do wear something they understand, like leather. You want something that’s still feminine like this Elie Tahari jacket ($1480, bloomingdales.com) that has a similar shape and texture, and will allow you to throw your arms into the air when you’re casting a spell.
All Hell Breaks Loose
-On Antonia’s side are her witches, including Tara and Holly and someone holding a silver serving tray. On Bill’s are a crew of vamps, including Eric and a somehow not-rotting Pam (those injections must be working) wearing an amazing studded-sleeved leather jacket by Canadian designer Amanda Lew Kee (for real!), as well as good old Sookie.
-Bill asks Antonia for a peaceful resolution and to remove the spells from Eric and Pam. When it’s clear she isn’t there to back down, he calls his guards and they set their scopes on her.
-Then Eric rips out someone’s heart unprovoked and a fight erupts. Somehow it’s suddenly foggy and everyone is doing their best to shoot each other. It’s feeling a lot like Harry Potter, minus the wands. (That’s for next season, we s’pose)
-Pam’s got Tara, but Bill forbids Pam from killing her, much to Tara’s surprise.
-Alcide shows up looking for Sookie at her place, hears screams, and runs to the cemetery with a wolf on his tail—our bet’s on Debbie.
-Sookie blasts someone away with her faerie-light but is shot. This is felt by Bill, distracting him enough to get silvered, and Eric, who gets caught up in Antonia’s submissive spell.
-Sookie passes out in the cemetery, but no faeries come to her aid. Instead, it’s Alcide who runs off with her in his arms, much to a no-longer-wolfish Debbie’s disappointment.
-Antonia strokes her new pet Eric.
And that’s it folks, until next week! Stay tuned for our recap of Episode 9 next Monday August 22nd! Catch new episodes of True Blood Sunday nights at 9 p.m on HBO Canada.
