SNP’s word of the day: F***sten

Illustration by Lewis Mirrett
Illustration by Lewis Mirrett

Word: F***sten

Meaning: See below.

Usage: “Kristen… knows about names: the “Robstens” (those who think K-Stew” and R-Patz” are together); the “Nonstens” (those fans who think they aren’t) and the “F***stens” (those who say they don’t give a monkey’s either way — but actually really do).” From a GQ UK cover story on Ms. Stewart, on newsstands now.

You should know it because: Okay, there’s really no because here. I am either too old, too young, or not Christian enough to understand the virginal, bloodless, melodramatic allure of Twilight. But I guess you should know this word if you’re “Robsessed” or a “Twihard,” or if you ever need to impress some kid you’re babysitting (not that you should, um, swear around kids), or if you happen to know a couple named Rob and Kristen in real life, in which case it might be a funny joke for two and a half seconds. I don’t know. I’m still reeling over the fact somebody made up a word for how much they don’t care about a famous couple they’ll never meet. The internet is a hell of a place.

Anyway, me, I’m really into adapting this dirty twist on the celebucouple portmanteau (“Brangelina,” etc.) to describe basically anything I don’t care about but also can’t escape. Like “F***light.” Or “Karf***ians.” Or “The Foo F***ters.” Or “Jennif*** Aniston movies.” See? So versatile. Try it today!

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