Photography via REX/Shutterstock

The Miracle of Childbirth Has Blown Prince Harry’s Mind


Prince Harry has a habit of giving royalists precisely what they want from the monarchy: endearing moments that fulfil a fairytale narrative and help us escape the mundanity of peasant life. Harry, with his rosy cheeks, unfussy scruff and propensity for PR-perfect photo moments, is Prince Charming, and with Meghan Markle, he found his modern all-American princess. Together, they’ve captured hearts and dominated headlines — and their newborn baby boy is sure to do the same.

Understandably, he’s already smitten with the seven-pound baby that’s now seventh-in-line for the British throne. “I’m very excited to announce that Meghan and myself had a baby boy earlier this morning. A very healthy boy,” Prince Harry told the press, rubbing his hands together nervously as he stood outside the horse stable at Frogmore Cottage.

“Mother and baby are doing incredibly well. It’s been the most amazing experience I could ever possibly imagine. How any woman does what they do is beyond comprehension,” he continues, placing his fingers on his temples to mimic an exploded brain. “We are both absolutely thrilled. And so grateful to all the love and support of everybody out there.”

“I’m so incredibly proud of my wife,” he later added, before thanking both the press and the horses present. “As every parent and father will say, your baby is absolutely amazing, but this little thing is absolutely to die for, so I’m over the moon.”

It was a simple 96-second announcement, but it left a huge impression. Even those who reject the need for a taxpayer-funded British monarchy were won over by Prince Harry’s flushed face and giddy behaviour. Specifically, they were taken by his awe of the female body.

With his beaming pride and half-zip jumper, Prince Charming has officially entered his dad years. Here’s to a chapter that’s full of  playful football photos and bad jokes!