Everything that Upset the Internet this Week

What is the web-o-sphere angry about right now? A not-so-sexy dude, a way-too-sexy costume, and a movie that really isn’t that funny. Oh, and people are destroying their coffee machines to show solidarity with an accused pedophile. If these are the causes you plan on championing this weekend, here’s everything you need to know.

Blake Shelton is named the sexiest man alive

THE STORY: People Magazine has elected Blake Sheldon — as in the 41-year-old country singer, coach of The Voice and BF of Gwen Stefani — as 2017’s Sexiest Man Alive.

THE REACTION:

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: It isn’t Blake Shelton’s looks — or rather, his lack of looks — that make him a problematic ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ pick. Hotness is totally subjective, right? His history of homophobic tweets, on the other hand, is a problem. A big problem. Oh, and also: did you know that in the 22 years that People has been tracking male sexiness, there have been only two non-white dudes to make the cover? That’s another problem worth pointing out.

Over at Title Magazine, our features editor, Greg Hudson, suggested that Mr. Gwen Stefani is the sexiest man of the year because he isn’t sexy. (He explains this by calling Shelton the white bread you eat after having the flu. Check out the article to see why.)

HOW WE FEEL:  😷🤢😷🤢😷

The Justice League Amazon costumes

THE STORY: Photos from what appears to be the Justice League set surfaced on the Internet earlier this week. In said images, the Amazons — Zeus’ elite group of women warriors — are wearing leather bikinis, a costume that’s dramatically different from the breast plates and midriff armour worn in the Wonder Woman film.

THE REACTION:

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: In Wonder Woman, the Amazons were powerful, their vital organs were protected, and they were sexy. It’s one of the (many) reasons why women applauded Patty Jenkin’s film, and it’s an example of how Wonder Woman was a huge leap forward from the historical portrayal of female superheroes. It’s okay for women to be sexy, but it’s not okay for them to be sexy simply to satisfy the male-gaze — which is what we suspect is going on here. But alas, we’ll have to see the film before making final judgements.

HOW WE FEEL: 💪 💅 👊

Get Out will compete as a comedy

THE STORY: Jordan Peele’s critically-acclaimed debut film has been submitted in the comedy/musical category at the Golden Globe Awards.

THE REACTION:

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: It’s as though the Hollywood Foreign Press Association just browsed Jordan Peele’s IMDB page before categorizing his breakout film. Did they even watch the movie? Get Out is a satirical horror that shares a message about modern race relations, by employing jump-scares and traditional terror movie tactics to help viewers understand how scary it is to be black in America. What about that makes you laugh, HFPA?

HOW WE FEEL: 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱

#BoycottKeurig

THE STORY: Keurig pulled its ads from Sean Hannity’s TV show after the Fox News reporter defended Roy Moore, a US senate candidate who has been accused of pursuing inappropriate relationships with young women.

THE REACTION:

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Wow. Sean Hannity has some passionate supporters. And also: have we really reached the point where people are video taping themselves destroying coffee machines in support of an accused child molester? 2017 is so confusing.

HOW WE FEEL:  ☕ ☕ ☕ ☕ ☕ ☕ ☕ ☕ (just over here enjoying our Keurig coffee)