What’s your fall shoe horoscope?

ARIES

If you start wearing these, everyone will start wearing these. It could be your ability to defend fringe as a compulsory skin shield, or it could be your poise. Even if you don’t really like these boots at all, you should wear them as a secret social experiment.

Paul Andrew Fringed Suede Knee Boots ($1,995, net-a-porter.com)

TAURUS

These cavalier-looking boots will suit you perfectly this fall. They’re sleek, unassuming, and kind of intimidating if you stare on them for too long. This is how witnesses will feel as you cultivate the many opportunities coming your way. Basically you’re really scary.

Alexander Wang Ankle Boots ($698, farfetch.com)

GEMINI

You love the chance to use your tongue in whatever way possible. In this case, we’re talking about explaining what’s going on with these shoes. As the quick-witted, fun-loving charmer you are, you might find entertaining your friends and family this fall especially enjoyable. Get ready for a lot of questions about the hair.

Fendi Karlito Sneakers ($1,565, net-a-porter.com)

CANCER

Let’s just pretend you can actually afford these for a moment. It’s going to be a very social autumn for you, so you might as well upgrade your look. These neutral slingbacks are within your comfort zone but interesting enough to salvage your steez. Now go back to donating to charity, or whatever.

Chloé Leather Slingback Mules ($1,095, net-a-porter.com)

LEO

The descending temperatures have nothing on you. Leos are unaffected by such petty distractions as climate. You could sport these sandals well into the winter, proving you as the enigmatic leader you were born to be. The feline-inspired print compliments your massive, massive ego.

Aquazurra Lace-Up Sandals ($895, net-a-porter.com)

VIRGO

It turns out you can handle something that isn’t an orthopedic sneaker! This fall is going to be a lot of fun for you, but as the logical, unemotional Virgo you are, it’s difficult to picture what that even means. These platform loafers are flat but retain a nice arch, because everyone knows you’re conscious about your spinal health, and they even give you some height. Not that you need it, you prude.

Jil Sander Leather Platform Loafers ($995, net-a-porter.com)

LIBRA

Try balancing these with your wardrobe, Libras. Like you, they remain tonally indecisive. You should appreciate the bold patchwork in these conflicted high heels, interchanging from light and dark angles. As you enter a more reflective attitude this fall, find comfort in the fact that these boots exist.

Gianvito Rossi Patchwork Suede Ankle Boots ($1,160, net-a-porter.com)

SCORPIO

You’re probably used to getting told that you’re overtly sexual but that’s not the only reason these Valentino pumps are suitable for you. Okay, not really. Your hard work is a product of that fiery internal drive within you and this fall you’ll finally be seeing pay-off because of it. Celebrate with these low heeled, green, studded bondage belts.

Valentino Rockstud Pumps ($1,374, farfetch.com)

SAGITTARIUS

Comfortable for walking, colourful for talking, these painted slippers speak to the heart of Sagittarian philosophy. You didn’t even realize you had a philosophy because you’re just too busy travelling and socializing in the real world. Remember that flats make it easier to jump from the lecture hall to the wine-and-cheese to the party to the after-party.

DSquared2 Painted Slippers ($635, farfetch.com)

CAPRICORN

This fall is all about making space in your life, as well as adding it to the bottom of your feet. Platforms like these might a challenging to get used to at first, especially for the more conservative of Capricorns. But any true earth sign should appreciate the wooden detail in center focus. (Get it? Cuz it’s the earth.)

Stella McCartney Faux Leather Platform Brogues ($1,080, net-a-porter.com)

AQUARIUS

You may have already drafted blueprints for this shoe but it was likely another Aquarius at Acne Studios who beat you to the punch. The rest of the Zodiac has no idea what’s going on in your brain. Whether you decide to come back to reality or not, at least you look great while you avoid it.

Acne Studios Suede Pumps ($620, net-a-porter.com)

PISCES

Please stop acting like talk show host. You have good advice but it’s obnoxious. You’re going to wear these shoes because you don’t care about reflecting light into people’s faces and you know they make your legs look great. Everyone hates you for being right all the time. You will probably walk into a promotion wearing these things.

Miu Miu Glittered Patent-Leather Pumps ($755, net-a-porter.com)