Girls Recap: Sexting scandals, diary secrets, and V-card troubles! We discuss the problems of episode 4

My Twitter feed last Sunday was full of comments celebrating episode three as the best yet for Girls. I think that’s due to the girls teaming up with more supporting characters—seeing Marnie and Jessa in their work environs provided some new perspective. The first two episodes set up the group dynamic, and this week certainly offered a measured dose of self-discovery. Shoshanna tried to ditch her virginity baggage, Jessa realized that the easy job she took for easy money comes with two real responsibilities, Hannah decided what level of uncomfortable she’s willing to put up with and Marnie—well, Marnie got an actual table and then had the metaphorical tables turned on her.

Let’s discuss this week’s problems »

Girls Problem: Adam sexts Hannah thinking she’s someone else.

We can’t believe Marnie doesn’t understand that Hannah is really quite pleased Adam is sending her pictures of his junk. Let’s be real: Adam could pocket dial Hannah and still make her feel special. At least this misdirected text is the last shame straw for Hannah, leading her to stand up for herself and deliver a sermon about what she wants from Adam. She’s doing so well until her lip quivers, and then we know all he has to do is say one nice thing and she’ll cave. Even sadder: he really doesn’t have to say anything! All he does is look at her and she jumps him. (Side note: this was an awesome use of sexting in a storyline. It wasn’t a morality tale and it wasn’t a silly sexting-gone-wrong story of a nude shot getting sent to parents by accident. And if Jessa calls texts “word alerts” what does she call sexting? “Nude notifications”?)

Ten Years From Now: Duh, there will be no more texting or sexting. Ten years from now technology will have changed so much. But we’re sure boys will figure out a new way to send girls pictures of their d***s — maybe Kanye West will redo “Runaway” and change the lyrics to reflect just how the kids are doing it.

Girls Problem: Hannah has patchy eyebrows.

Who didn’t get curious and pluck out all their eyebrows in junior high? (Hello, Mad Love–era Drew Barrymore!) It’s understandable that Hannah would seek the advice of her more worldly-seeming coworkers—one of whom was played by Girls staff writer Lesley Arfin—but they were definitely wrong about the eyebrows. However, at least she listens to them about Adam and goes off to get back her self-respect. (We only wish she’d washed her face first.)

Ten Years From Now: Hannah will hopefully have found an eyebrow routine that works for her—we would bet Shoshanna knows a good waxer like any Sex and the City girl.

Girls Problem: Jessa wants to be respected for her struggles, without doing any actual struggling.

When she says, “I’m just like you” to the other nannies in the park, we wish she’d have seen their eye rolls and realized how stupid she sounds. Later, when Jessa proselytizes to them about their rights and pay we wanted to take her juice box and squirt her in her face. Our annoyance with her continued when she admitted to dad Jeff that she lost the kids, but made it all about her and how they hate her and what she was like as a child.

Ten Years From Now: Hopefully Lola will turn out better than Jessa did, Jeff.

Girls Problem: Hannah’s boss is touchy.

Your boss touching you is wrong, even if it’s in the guise of Reiki healing or a “good job, team” type football pat on the ass. Her notary public boss is sweet and good-natured, and provides health care and iPod Nanos, so it’ll be interesting to see how Hannah, who is awful at confrontation, deals with the situation in the worst way possible. Like he said, lean into the pain, Hannah.

Ten Years From Now: Hannah will be the one doing the inappropriate touching. Just kidding! We’re sure she’ll still be doing something inappropriate at work, like making awkward jokes about the FedEx guy.

Girls Problem: Shoshanna can’t give her virginity away.

Despite being awesome at intense kitchen raids, Shoshanna can’t spin her virginity into a casual thing; her former camp councillor doesn’t want to be her first. Based on all the teen movies we’ve seen about losing it (including the aptly titled 1983 Tom Cruise gem Losin’ It) a guy could sound pretty nice refusing to be a girl’s first. Not Matt. Poor Shoshanna’s virginity albatross looms all the larger now. And she even wore her nice underwear!

Ten Years From Now: Cynical us believes Matt will be even more of a dipstick, trolling whatever the future equivalent of online dating sites might be. Optimistic us says that Shoshanna and Matt will meet up at a camp reunion and reconnect, he’ll be deeply regretful and they’ll fall in love.

Girls Problem: Your boyfriend dumps you publicly and in a poorly strummed fashion.

Charlie and Roy’s duo is called Questionable Goods, and it’s shoegazing music only insofar as it concerns itself with gazing at shoes (Keds specifically). While that song might be Charlie’s main concern when the two get together to play carpenter, it is the aptly titled “Hannah’s Diary” that shows how good Charlie is at hammering. As in hammering a point home, that is. The initial dazed look on Hannah’s and Marnie’s faces made our stomachs drop and our feet got tingly in sympathy. Then with the bridge it all gets super real and our feelings are swiftly akin to those of Jessa: “That was awesome.” Seeing Hannah react to her private utterances being read publicly makes us wonder what she’s been putting in her essays. Does she have the thick skin one needs to write about yourself and your friends if she can’t handle hearing her words sung in a small bar? Yes, we get that the situation is a bit different than anonymous people reading your book, but it’s not that far off. And is it awful that we like Charlie now?

Ten Years From Now: Hannah will know most friends won’t appreciate being written about, so she’ll get better at making up aliases. Or, not having any friends.

Girls airs Sundays at 10:30 p.m. on HBO Canada. Tune in for our recap next week, where we’re sure the girls of Girls will have even more texting troubles.